Alarm Bells Ringing

‘Hello Mudda…
Hello Faddah…’

Seems all I’ve ever done for a living, apart from temping in production facilities, is sell toys and cartoons and juice.

I have about two and a half years of experience in the Beverage Industry, which is not a lot of time as these things go. But in that time, about the only jobs I didn’t do were sales and tehj service. I’m serious. I did just about every other conceivable task you care to mention in that industry. And yet, my resum√© still spends a lot of long lonely nights getting stood up for dates and such.

Big deal. I never wanted to work in the beverage industry anyway. What I find irksome is that most of mt Graphics experience is also beverage industry-based… but not for any of the majors, who can afford to pay ad agencies their absorbitant fees to dream up ad campaigns with naked turtles and beautiful Tahitian parrots swaying on the deck of a yacht in the Bahamas while sipping something that by all accounts should be used to strop house paint.

No. I work for the guys who sell pop and juice concentrates to your local bar or family-owned restaurant. Coke and Pepsi do that too, but they do a rather slipshod job of it, because regional service is a loss leader. Manufacturers like to sell to distributors who do not manufacture, and get them to do the grunt work.

The client I am currently brand-building for works like this too. His business is much smaller than the majors, but he is willing and able to meet and beat quality, taste and price, in any packaging a distributor’s customers are set up with.

Why am I mentioning all of this? Simple: I’m sick of slinging juice to companies who can’t even afford my services, let alone a big ad agency or a fully established and accredited graphics house. I’m tired of looking around at all of the supposed competition in this industry and seeing half-asses and liars try to pass off their bathtub swill as nectar of the gods. And I’m tired of revisions that drag A-list work out of me that will only benefit one person when it’s all done: me. My portfolio is going to look gorgeous this year, no matter what happens to >Insert Juice Company HereInsert yada yada<, there's a pretty excellent chance that she and I are going to be runnign the studio together before the end of the year, if we can just get some kind of clientele list and she can get some decent output from the likes of Rodney and I.

Thing is, we're both so entrenched in the beverage industry, she and I, that I forsee many nights of trying to say yet again for BeverageClient #162 how 'Our product is the best value for your money, and we'll bring it right to your back doorstep and put it under that stairwell behind the rose bushes the way you like, too' without resorting to using a form letter setting in the word processor to right the copy.

So what I was thinking was, do any of you guys see any value in blitzing a whole bunch of these Ma&Pas and small-timers and bottom-feeders with graphics manna and try to raise the bar, at least artificially, in the hopes of bringing the mooks out of their caves to set up shop in the light like everyone else… or should my sister and I start a greeting card and stationary company instead?

L o L,
humming along Lou Costello…

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