Centrifugal Farce, Pt 1 (unedited)

LINKBEING: Facet Chapter 8
Centrifugal Farce
Part 1: About The Author
Born in the arms of love in the twilight of the last ‘age of enlightenment’ experiment, he soon realized that life in Utopia would be dead boring to write about, and so arranged for the untimely demise of his father’s personal charm, which opened his mother’s eyes to a growing number of ugly character flaws, making it necessary for her to seek a plausible end to an implausible situation as quickly as was plausible under the circumstances.

She later relocated the remainder of the family to a far more interesting place to live and learn about life. This place had been dubbed the Centrfuge, and it was where the author learned of all the intricacies of the insame inhabitants of the Multiverse, and where he learned how the many realities of the Multiverse seemlessly connect themselves to the Centrifuge, which he soon theorized served as the hub of all reality.

He later ammended this theory a number of times to include a lot of nonsense about theology, which he later replaced with a lot of half-baked silliness about the universe being not unlike a soap opera that never quits being churned out by a heavenly television network. The many insights and concepts that spawned these theories or were themselves the by-product of said thoeries soon blossomed into a whole new philosophy all its own, which evolved and twisted into the most mindboggling collection of midnight ramblings and basic nuttiness as to stun the average genius into quiet and profound catatonia.

Then, just before his closest friends and loved ones sent for the men in the white lab coats, the author escapedthe confines of the Centrifuge, discovered a planet where the only planet possessing sentient life was about to self-destruct due to loneliness. He discovered the single greatest contribution to social evolution on this planet to be an odd sport called Jumbee Bunching, which involved throwing ones body from a high perch, wrapped in air-cushioned padding and a high-density rubber net, which remains anchored to the aforementiioned perch, so as to prevent the participant from experiencing anything more intense than the mere feeling of impending doom brought on by plummetting towards solid ground.

After taking up the sport himself, the author claims to have experienced an ecclesiastical moment where he actually envisioned himself becoming well-liked by an awful lot of nifty people, many of them being girls. This vision propelled him to abandon all previous faiths in favour of a modified version of his original theory, the one difference being he believed himself to be the creator of the Centrifuge around which the Multiverse revolved, and from which all reality (at least all the interesting reality, anyway) was originated.

This inspired him to wite the series of stories you will be forced to read if you ever want to understand what’s really going on. Enjoy.

Oh, and Welcome To The Multiverse.

*FLASH*

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