Creatives and Other Outliers – For Sale, Going Cheap

I was starting to feel pretty good yesterday, but today would seem to be a less than spectacular day, emotionally. The sun is coming up. Perhaps I’ll go sit outside and watch it for a bit. But probably not. I”m not really a sunrise/sunset watcher. I like them well enough, but Hamilton’s not great for either. Still, I’d feel odd living anywhere else, I suspect.

I’m afraid to open my laptop and see my work today. I don’t feel the words coming to me yet (this blog notwithstanding). Two stories, each almost finished: I could easily knock them both out of the park, if I could just see what the hell I’m missing.

Dream Job, at this point, is paint by numbers. The plot is all laid out, and it doesn’t need anything else. Except that I feel like it does need something else; a surprise. hard to surprise myself at this point, but I suspect I need to focus on it and come up with something I wasn’t thinking of. It won’t hurt the overall story because it’s all being rewritten for another medium. I almost see this version as more of an abortion of the original intent. I know the full Dreamtropolis Fallen story does things this story never did, and never will. So writing this second part to go with the original part feels like sewing breasts on a bull; He may really be a she underneath it all, and in need of udders to pronounce it, but frankly, no one really cares. Except me and the bull, that is. I just feel like the original story ended in an interesting place, but I didn’t feel good trying to release it in a new volume if it didn’t have more of the story to follow. Too many questions went completely unasked, and I wanted to at least ask the questions, so folks could see there was a lot more under the hood than a weird dream.

Winterlude, on the other hand, really IS looking for an ending, because I didn’t realize I was writing a mystery when I first started it. I thought I was writing a bit of fluffy romance, or maybe some light, frothy erotica, at least. I’m satisfied that I’ve achieved what I originally set out to do with the story, but it’s since morphed into something else, and I’m scrambling to make the changes work. Very frustrating. The real solution is to start over and rewrite it with the mystery in mind, but that’s not how Sterling Carcieri fiction works. I’m supposed to write it by the seat of my pants and make it all fit as fast as I can. Rewriting isn’t part of the formula. It’s meant to feel like pulp fiction, so dwelling on it slavishly like I did with THE BRIDE OF WAR or TERMINAL MONDAY (or INFINITE REDRESS, or even THE DARK GUILD) kind of misses the point; frankly, it kills the much-needed spontaneity. But that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t find my ending.

Hopefully my mood will lift and I’ll see the solutions I’m looking for today.

Okay, it’s about time I got down to it. Have a good day for me. Send good vibes if you can spare them.


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