Everybody’s Got The Blues In The Morning Day

I want to apologize for not posting anything new these last handful of days.

I want to, but I won’t.

The fact is, I’ve been feeling depressed and miserable, and haven’t been able to manage a conversation with anyone other than my wife for much of it. I certainly haven’t been able to be as creative as I would like.

So, updates. A few days ago, I started a Patreon account. That may or may not be your thing, but I would like to explain that a lot of what I do is very resource-dependent. I spent thousands of dollars buying musical gear and computer equipment over the last fifteen years, and I also go through paint and such like it’s nobody’s business. Only my writing habit is relatively resource-light, and even that takes hydro, because I can’t stand manual typewriters. Sorry. I used them for two years in highschool, and haven’t looked back once. I also really didn’t care for electric typewriters. I don’t get it, folks. The fascination isn’t there for me. I’ve hand-written manuscripts, but they’re a pain in the ass to edit without winding up with a lot of ink scribbles that take hours to decipher. If I ever get a professional editor, I’ll consider going back to hard copy, but frankly, I prefer editing on my ancient (donated) titanium MacBook G4 (though it’s just about ready to be put out to pasture, I’m afraid).

So, point is, this Creative Engine stuff I do for what I laughingly call ‘a living’ (minus my disability payments, which may go away because they may decide I’m not disabled enough after all) requires that I make stuff pretty regularly just to keep my sanity. That’s not some melodramatic flourish; I’m Bipolar, and I get really miserable and unstable when I’m not creating stuff. But the thing is, while I take great professional pride i my work, not a lot of people know who I am or realize I should be paid to do what I do. Most of my readers (ie YOU) seem to be as poor and easily distracted as me, so I don’t resent that you aren’t buying my work. No, really, I get it. My work is not cheap. Well, okay, my writing is cheapish, but I really did think I would make up for the low prices in higher sales points. Not so much. I seem to sell more books when I buy them myself, sign them, and sell them to my friends in person (of whom I’m running out of; no really, they aren’t returning calls or anything anymore; the honeymoon is SO over, there). So the brilliant writing career I’ve been envisioning hasn’t come to pass yet. The painting career is still in the shop being retooled; I used to paint quite a bit in my teens and twenties, but stopped in my thirties and early forties to pursue music and writing, as well as professional graphic design. Returning to painting, and especially abstract expressionism painting, was pretty much unplanned. The graphic design business is now well and truly in the crapper. I haven’t had a paying client in years. I’ve always said I was a better designer than I am a salesman. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, voila! And yeah, I still haven’t officially published a comic book or graphic novel, and my rock albums sold in single digits.

So, demonstrably better a Creative than a Businessman.

Patreon might never work for me, either. Hard to say. My luck with these things doesn’t seem to be good. No one really knows who I am, and even when they do get to know me better, most seem to think I don’t need money to keep working. I probably should shoulder the blame for that misunderstanding. It DOES take money to do what I do. And I have very little of it. So, Patreon… it’s a crowdfunding platform, but it’s not like Kickstarter or Indiegogo or whatever other platform you’re familiar with or favour. It’s more of a ‘microfunding’ setup, where you pay pennies or dollars towards small integer goals like, one dollar for one song, or in my case, ten dollars for one collection of songs, although i may nix that, because it doesn’t seem to have traction, and requires a lot of work with little reward. Plus, most folks want to see really, really small numbers in that column, and my ten dollar thing probably puts people off.

Anyway, the page is HERE.

Go take a look at it. support my work if you feel so inclined. I haven’t done much in the way of updates there yet, but I will be shortly. I just have to edit down the size of a video I’ve been working on. soon.

Off to clean at Mom’s, shortly.

Lee.

Don't be shy. Tell me what you really think, now.

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