Rainy Days and Tuesdays…

It’s another cloudy, wet, cold, dreary day. It’s almost twenty after nine and I can barely see the keyboard. I’ve been listening to David + David, a musical duo from the 80s, and the Bangles, whom you may have heard of. I’ve also been fantasizing about having a real band (i.e. NOT all me plus the occasional guitar track, lyric or backing vocal) with real musicians in it (as usual), even though I know I probably wouldn’t be able to keep it together because of my own dodgy playing and singing.

I don’t even have a dream team of musicians I’d like to work with, although I HAVE been daydreaming about working with Michael Steele, former bassist for The Bangles. It’s a long story.

I bear no ill will to my band mates. I love them dearly, warts and all. I still see us as this quirky power trio with songs and jams and groove. They’re my mates. They were both best men at my wedding. Derrick and I have been friends since I was in Grade 9. Gary and I have been song writing partners from almost the moment we met. We’ve been through so many ups and downs, over half of my lifetime spent with one or both of them (plus Dave and Dori). I’ll always want to work with them, to make something like what we were trying to make all those years ago.

I just feel sad because I tried so hard to make the new album something special, and ended up carrying most of the weight because I couldn’t dare to slow down until it was finished. #BipolarProblems

Now I find myself with a pile of songs (originals AND covers) to learn, no cohesive band to learn them with, and no incentive to try. I can’t even listen to the new album any more without getting a sore neck from constantly cringing. I know it’s not a perfect product by any means, but I’ve got the feeling my current state of mind is colouring my appreciation of my work, far out of proportion to how it really is. It may be a great or a lousy album, but I can’t tell for hearing how it was supposed to be.

I shouldn’t post stuff when it’s dark out, even when it’s 9:30 AM. Think I’ll turn on a light, put some more music on, and try to get some fiction written. Thsi reality stuff isn’t to my liking today.

Thanks for reading.

Lee.

Don't be shy. Tell me what you really think, now.

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