Time Really Does Pass By: Remembering Erin and Project Download

So, I suddenly found myself clicking on the link to the old Project Download fanpage on Facebook, and read down to the part that wasn’t overrun with spam messages. I’m almost sad I did, but perhaps I needed to see it, nonetheless.

It seems I’m over two years behind in the times. The woman named Erin (for whose fundraising initiative I wrote a total of three short pop songs), died in March of 2009. No one explained what killed her, but she had been suffering from a pretty rare cranial condition that caused her to have periodic black outs and severe memory loss.

She’d been trying to find money for the operation needed to correct this once and for all. People started clicking away madly at the provided link on a daily basis, trying also to raise awareness in the blogoshpere for Erin’s condition as they went along. Some of us made pretty things to donate to the cause of raising awareness.

However, the website, whose somewhat dubious financial reward program had been the impetus for Project Download to begin with, had pulled out gracelessly, disqualifying her on a trumped-up technicality so they wouldn’t have to pay out. The last I’d heard was, some anonymous white knight had stepped forward to salvage the project, providing ehr with the thousands of dollars needed for the procedure. She was just waiting for the day to arrive.

And then, nothing more was heard from her.

I can’t say I’m happy to learn she didn’t make it. However, I can finally let go of some deep sadness that had been lingering from the long silence and the growing unease that it had all been some kind of con job. Erin was a real girl, and she’s really gone.

The songs I wrote for the project were never adopted by the people who were organizing it for her (she’d started it herself, but had incidentally suffered a couple of severe memory loss episodes that she never really bounced back from, and could scarcely remember starting the project, let alone run it competently). I think I submitted links to one or two of the demos I’d quickly recorded, but there was never any interest shown in them.

However, I don’t regret writing the songs, as I feel very strongly that people need to be made aware that there are people in this world whose connection to the planet is very tenuous indeed, and we need to reach out and help them, if for no other reason than to discover our own humanity and sense of connection to one another.

So for Erin and her friends and loved ones, I wish you well. I hope you ahve all found peace, and for those who are still hurting, or who feel mistrustful of a world that would allow such a thing to happen, I hope you find peace of mind as well, in the passing of time.


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