…clicked on the link to go to Smashwords’ Terminal Monday page, saw it was 260,000 words long, and decided not to bother? Ther eis an alternative, you know? You can also sample it for free, which doesn’t ehlp me, but at least gives you an opportunity to see if you like my style.
There IS also another possibility: You can buy the novella. It’s two dollars cheaper, and it’s a complete chapter at almost 40,000 words, which gives you a pretty full, self-contained chapter AND a really good idea if you have any interest in reading the full novel. It happens fairly late in the book, but doesn’t give away too much of the story, and is one of my finest bits of writing. It took me almost a month to write the one chapter, both because it was so long AND because I crafted it ever so carefully. I figure it’s the perfect sampler for the full novel, because it’s got a bit of everything in it.
So, what do you say? Not good enough? Here’s another possibility: COMMENT ON THIS POST, and we can discuss me using the ‘Gifting’ feature to give you a copy of Under Observation, absolutely free of charge, if you’ll promise to give me your honest opinion of the chapter. It’s that simple. You don’t have to write a full, in-depth review, though I WILL ask you to try to go beyond ‘It sucks, dude’. Maybe one paragraph? Four little sentences? the work of two to three minutes, tops.
NOW are you interested? 39K words for free, and if you don’t like it, I promise not to bother you personally about reading the full novel any more. You can read and comment on 39,000 words, can’t you? That’s what, two night’s reading, three on the outside? It took me a month to write it, and FOUR months, over a period of THREE YEARS, to write the first draft. One of us is getting the better deal here, and I’m pretty sure it’s not me.
Okay, one more offer: if you comment, receive the free chapter, briefly review it AND buy the full novel with a coupon I will give you that knocks off a dollar, I’ll put you down for either a digital copy of the upcoming album, a digital copy of the special EP I’ll only be offering people who pre-order the album, OR an eight page comic I’m plotting as an extra special gift for overzealous supporters. You choose the prize. But you HAVE to comment, you have to tell me what you thought, and you have to buy the novel (with the coupon, at the reduced price of $3.99 USD).
This offer will be null and void at the end of the holiday weekend. Call it Crazy Eddie’s Easter/Passover Special. If you comment during this weekend, you’re in the running. The reviews need to be in no later than NEXT weekend, because after that, I’m gonna be recording pretty steadily, and won’t be paying that much attention to the website, other than writing the One a Day posts in the early morning. By the end of the month, I’ll announce the winners and sign you up for everything you’ve got coming to you.
That’s it. That’s my pitch. If you can get a better offer than 260,000 words for 4 bucks, I suggest you take it. I can’t guarantee you’ll love my novel, but I can guarantee that you’ll never read another novel quite like it at the price.
Almost time for dinner. Time to feed the cats. Thanks for reading. Happy Holidays.